When my life gets busy, the same things fall by the waist side. I am dependable about handling obligations, but they usually upstage the activities that nurture my soul. During chaos, my life is seldom an example of balance, and mostly exemplifies the burden of everyday responsibilities. Hence the two unfinished drawings in the studio, the box of unread books, the un-utilized roll of roofing felt (don’t get too excited, it is my new drawing surface of choice), the printing press that needs T.L.C., the hiking paths I need to explore, all the nesting activities required to settle into a new house, the gallery I absolutely MUST visit, and the unfinished crossword puzzles.
When you factor in how much progress is disrupted simply by having the Mister at home, it leaves a tired Chica (who often refers to herself in third person when she gets irritable).
The first thing I neglect is any physical exercise routine I’m attempting to commit to (and I use commit in the looses interpretation of the word). It doesn’t matter if it’s walking, abs, or stretching. One neglected day equals reneging on the whole program. One tiny little missed opportunity…and it all goes to Hell in a hand basket. It usually takes months to get started again. It’s definitely a routine that is good for me, if one I deplore, so it is easy to understand why I fall off the wagon with this one.
Reading takes one for the team. I read a few minutes before bed every almost every night, but finding extra time during the day can be a chore. It takes a long time to finish a book when you find yourself rationed to twenty minutes a day or less. In the past I have chosen to spend ten hours traveling by plane only to have twenty-four hours at the destination because I knew I could justify sending the time time to read or sketch.
Art tis the guiltiest of pleasures. It shouldn’t be. I should make it a priority along with clean laundry. Generally, I don’t give a shit about how society views things…but it seems to have found a weakness in my facade regarding this subject. There is a notion, probably left over from elementary school, that art is fun; therefor if you are making art you are having fun, and if you are having fun then it can’t possibly be work. During the days of FICA and fifty hour weeks it was work. There was nothing fun about it. Nothing beats creativity into will-less submission like a joyless project promoting shameless consumerism.
Unchained from the pressure of forced success, it is still work. Just not the soul suffocating kind. Now it seems to be more encompassing than ever. Art is no longer confined to the parameters of expensive paper, stretched canvass, or a yearly Christmas card. It seems to transcends the project and execution, and seeps into my everyday problem solving. I’m not thinking on the page or in the sketchbook; I’m evaluating wide open spaces, and mentally drafting solutions in hopes of making spaces more usable and accessible. I would rather be working on paper, or roofing felt, but spacial needs dictate other priorities for now. When free time presents itself, I will be ready and willing. Until then, I will try applying what I know on paper to what I need in real life.
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
i am so hearing you on this. and the way you wrote it? brilliant.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 am
That is exactly it, isn’t it?
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 am
This would be a great thing to hand people who wonder what i do all day, being retired and all.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I feel guilty now for getting up Sunday morning and spending a few hours reading New Yorkers over coffee….
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
At my pace, the process of moving took about 9 months, and I’m just now starting the living again. And still, all it takes are minor setbacks - sick kids, potty training - that take up all my time and attention so that i get nothing measurable accomplished in a day, sometimes not even a coherent thought, to drag me down in the dumps, staring into the abyss and questioning the meaning of life. Progress? What’s progress.
I am a moss-covered monolith.
(Thanks for the little white box to vent into.)
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
oooohhhh. roofing felt. now you have me all sexed up thinking of it.
and as an artist I would love to say that art IS indeed fun. But much of the time it is not. It is damn hard work. like anything else.
Want me to come kick your ass out of the rut? I am in one too. Pit of sloth really.
And just because bipolar is simply not enough in my comments, I loved what De said about moss covered monolith. mmhm. what an image.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Prioritizing what you need to do and finding the time for what you want to do are difficult tasks in and of themselves. Caring about the final results, often put pressure on us and turn something fun into something else. When you find the answers to these dilemmas…please share them:~)
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm
jen, exactly when did we become what we accomplish?
flutter, life has a way of interfering with the stuff we really want to do, but you know that already…
meno, I can type it out like a formal excuse with checkboxes and stuff, like an excused absence.
qt, you traitor!
De, the moss covering gives the monolith character so the ordinary unadorned monoliths will be jealous. It’s symbolic of wisdom and experience.
crazymumma, so what you are really saying is i am in excellent company.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:48 am
I hear you. Art falls by the wayside every time. When I was on break, I planned to teach myself how to draw trees. But then everything else got in the way. Everything else seemed more important, and drawing a selfish indulgence.
Writing fiction’s gone that way for me too now, and I have to struggle to get back to it.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Right on, Chica. I totally know what you are feeling.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:52 am
my husband would tell you that art is essential to his well-being. of course, he has a hard time getting it out and getting started also, but just sitting at his art table makes him feel good.
as far as exercise, jeez don’t i know it. i force myself out the door on days when it sucks to go and then one small set-back and I’m back to thinking about forcing myself out the door - not out the door yet though. bleh
June 29th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
nancy, it’s also selfish not to indulge yourself occasionally. If you burn out, the entire family suffers.
andrea,where does all the time go?
Maggie, it is beneficial knowing you have the perfect space when the time presents itself. I like hiking but the thought of exercising with a purpose is about motivational as scrubbing toilets.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I have a hard time finding time to do anything for myself other than blogging and I really hate that.