The moving process did not disappoint. It was filled with all the stress, frustration, swearing and unpredictability you warned me about.Through it all, I managed to keep my cool, except for one that one time when I chewed the Mister’s ass and served it to him on a plate. Only once. I refuse to apologize because It would be insincere.

The Mister hovers. I don’t need a supervisor. I packed 80% of the boxes without incident. I don’t appreciate him looking over my shoulder offering constructive criticism when he can’t keep track of a tape gun, much less be bothered to reserve enough underwear to survive the move. We sacrificed one ugly Christmas mug to my inferior packing techniques. Not bad for 350+ miles towed behind a semi.

Knowing stress was inevitable made it easier to prepare emotionally. I wish I were better about being zen under ordinary circumstances. I knew we hadn’t completed enough preparatory packing before the trailer arrived. I knew the Mister would take more time to load the truck than he anticipated. His estimates are only reliable if things go perfectly. This was far from perfect. A former work acquaintance of mine once remarked, you can’t derail a disaster from its natural course. So I practiced breathing while the mini-dramas unfolded.

What the Mister lacks in planning and preparation, he makes up for during the scramble. He struggles with deadlines, but he can pack a truck better than the Joad family can load wagon. I am still in awe at how much he loaded in the final three feet of the trailer. Did I mention he did it with a broken toe? My hero.

Our hired loaders were moonlighting from their day jobs. Instead of sixteen hours of manual labor, we netted four. It wasn’t wasn’t part of the agreement. There isn’t much you can do when you find out on the day you need them, they will be seven hours late. Well, there is one one thing….you start drinking apple schnapps at 9AM. It took an extra day to load the truck. One of these eager beavers might have strong-armed the shut-off valve for the washing machine resulting in a mini-flood and an emergency call to the plumber. Good times.

We doped up the kitties for what turned into a six and half hour tandem car trip. (Gotta luv traffic in the ATL). I drew the short straw I chauffeured the cats in a stick shift and the Mister packed his vehicle to its cargo limit. It was like unloading a clown car. I still can’t believe he hauled the flammables, the vacuum cleaner, the air mattress, the liquor stash, clothes, walking sticks, bed linens, cat litter, art, ironing board, coffee maker, corkscrew, pillows, computer bags and a bunch of shit I can’t be bothered to recall.

We spent three days waiting for our furniture. It was refreshing. After being surrounded by things, I felt free in the wide open space not yet influenced by our lives. I remember when my youth held that much potential. Maybe it will again.

The last major snag occurred when the driver delivered our trailer. Seems there was a problem with parking. The property has two drives, both of which slope downhill and require setting your emergency brake. We had permission to park the trailer on the street, but the driver didn’t want to be responsible. After we determined the driveway slope allowed minimal room for the trailer, we discovered the phone and cable lines were too low to accommodate the trailer height. We called the city, but it wasn’t their responcibility. The driver suggested we wedge a board under the lines to raise them, rather than waiting for professionals. I found a fallen hickory tree in the back yard with a “y” at the top. Propped on a pair of bricks it raised the cables just high enough to allow the trailer to pass. So the lines remained propped for two days.

Sometimes it pays to be self-reliant.