Post with No Relevance to the Conference
I’ve been preoccupied with events concluding this weekend, and have written of little else. If only my mind were uncluttered. I’ve been considering my mother’s health and the changes she will endure in the coming years. Having seen a glimpse of what her future holds, I’m not optimistic.
She’s been cursed with a wretched spine for years. There have been three back surgeries with little success to alleviate pain or improve mobility. The most recent, implanting a device in her hip that provided electrical stimulation to reduce pain. Today, she was in the surgeon’s office pleading to have it removed, because it causes more discomfort than it alleviates.
She’s in considerable pain, otherwise she wouldn’t have made the appointment (she’s stubborn that way). She requested a consult with the orthopedic who recommended the procedure, but he isn’t available until September. My sister was at the previous appointment with him and the prognosis was not good. He believed there were more surgeries in her future, but he didn’t offer much to relieve pain, only hope to keep her mobile.
She walks unassisted, but watching her move makes you wince. She isn’t comfortable sitting or standing, leaving few options. She doesn’t discuss the pain, or tell us what meds she takes. (Anyone with a lesser constitution wouldn’t be able to drive on them.) My sister and I play different roles in order to extract information from her. It’s difficult asking the right question. I play the game, because I’m like her when it comes to disclosing information.
There isn’t much to say or do now. Only time will tell if she has fifteen mobile years in her future or five. I will enjoy the days on her behalf as long as they last. I don’t care how she passes her time as long as she enjoys herself. Maybe she will learn the humility required to ask for help, and hopefully I will learn too.
Tension. ©2007, Mixed Media
Note: may rework later.
July 25th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Oh, Chica. This stinks. I can’t think of anything intelligent to say because my brain is mush and you know that’s true. I will offer up that my next door neighbor just finished a sports medicine fellowship at UVA and maybe could help…? I mean, since we know Patches can find his way up here… love to you.
July 25th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Liv, I’m mostly thinking out loud on this. My sis and I have been talking about the probability for a year now, and it’s not like a switch will flip tomorrow, but the progression is impossible to ignore. There’s a part of me that is trying to mentally prepare for what the future holds, even if I can’t prevent it from happening.
I’ll go on her follow-up and see what her guy says….and thanks, for everything.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
I think i will go and take my calcium now, in the probably vain hope that it will help.
Your poor mom. I am reduced to a whiny complaining bitch when i am in pain, i can’t imagine having to live with it all the time.
July 26th, 2007 at 12:33 am
meno, it couldn’t hurt anything, right? There is a self-preservation side to being stubborn. I hope I will inherit her deep pain threshold. She was kind enough to pass along a little extra strength.
July 26th, 2007 at 12:36 am
Oh, that is so sad. Pain certainly helps remind us to appreciate the absence of it.
July 27th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Found my way here via “liv”. I recognize that not-going-to-the-doctor stuborness, it runs in my family too. Beautiful rendering of the back you’ve drawn. I wish you and your mother all the best during this painful time.
July 30th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
This is so sad. My BF has a bad disc in his neck right now, and the whole medical circus attached to figuring out what is going on with him is ridiculous! I, too, have to ask about a million questions just to glean one nugget of useful information from him. That’s why I have to go to the appointments.
I will be thinking about your mom.
It was nice to meet you this weekend, however briefly!
August 1st, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Lynn, sage words. They remind me of country music lyrics…only the content is better.
Wayfarerscientista, thanks for visiting. Your sentiment is greatly appreciated.
QT, I hope your BF’s doctors can find a good solution. My mother has had the neck problem in the past. Be sure and ask pointed questions about the long term affects of the options Doctors present, some cervical problems stretch out for years. I hope BF is more fortunate.
It was great having dinner with you and Jen, like a quiet easy conference before a loud obnoxious one.
September 23rd, 2007 at 4:12 pm
[...] I’ll be accompanying my mother on a long awaited doctor’s appointment. In the past my sister has done this. Now, it’s my turn. I’m not complaining about responsibility. I [...]