Things are quiet. I haven’t been to the hospital since Wednesday. The Mister left for work Thursday and won’t return until Monday. His brother knows how to reach me if he needs me. I’m available, but I’m not volunteering…
The Mister had a voicemail on his cell Friday night from the hospital. They said Mrs One Eye kept getting out of bed and they had to restrain her with a posey vest. I have not heard if they will transfer her to the physical therapy wing or not.
I spent a few hours sitting with her Tuesday and Wednesday so the guys could eat lunch. Tuesday she was fighting really hard to overcome the effects of the anesthesia and regain lucidity. Sheer determination overshadows concealed rage. I’m concerned she will become more physical as time passes.
As I sat with her, I read from John Steinbeck’s, East of Eden, and wondered, “How would Steinbeck write about this family? I could envision lengthy poetic descriptions, the setting of stage, and geography, but I could not conceive of a plot, at least not from Steinbeck. For there really is no plot, it is simply a snapshot in time, like Brett Easton Ellis’s, Less than Zero. A complex cast of characters with no direction and no motivation only an unknown destiny.
Thursday I relieved myself of nervous energy. It’s weird, I can maintain focus, and keep a cool head when needed, but sooner or later a valve has to release pressure. So I cut the grass, hauled away yard debris, washed and waxed my ride, and cleaned the pond filter.
By Friday my body betrayed me. Too many consecutive days of sleeplessness, and and improper eating. After a poor lunch choice (strawberry milkshake) I laid on the sofa for two hours with a pounding chest and no energy because of a sugar crash. Today, I concentrated on being active and eating better. My eyes are too fatigued to focus, so I’ve taken out my contacts to rest them. Tonight I am tired, a good tired, not exhausted, so the pendulum is swinging the other way….for me, for a while.
June 16th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
sweetie, take care of yourself. you must. this is what is important. i have learned the hard way that you can’t step in and fix things in your spouse’s family. they have their way, and you have yours. it’s so incredibly emotionally taxing to be strong.
June 17th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Looks like your body is reacting to all the stress. Time to look after yourself for a while.
I love the idea of writing a story about this family, since you are such a great observer and you have such a close up view of the oddness. Maybe after you relax a bit.
June 17th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
liv, Friday was something of a gentle reminder as to how quickly things can go downhill. I am working on my priorities. I’m not trying to fix the situation anymore, I’m just trying to keep a straight face, and be there for my mate.
meno, I should know the importance of taking care of myself, god knows its bitten me in the ass before.
I question whether or not I have any right to tell their story. At least with the intimate descriptions required. My spouse might view it as betrayal. I’m still struggling with the best way to write about their history of denial without crossing any boundaries.